i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She bit a glass in half.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
