So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
