I think I died a long time ago.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
