The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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