dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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