That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
