I like to think it a success when the cops are called
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize