Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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