I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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