i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize