He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
we're so committed to being not committed