hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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