gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
