Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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