I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
