it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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