There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
