But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My dad just said "fuck circus"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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