I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
They took my balls.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize