Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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