IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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