Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
