I have demons in me.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
