i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell