Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad