Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize