scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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