I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
