these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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