Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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