in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
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he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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