all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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