I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
