Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
there is glitter all over my balls
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