420 ftw
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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