Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
