i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
