Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
mondays should just be called national damage control day
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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