...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
