i think my mom watched the whole time
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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