Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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