i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The uberlube is also flammable
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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