thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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