his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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