So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
