this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
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Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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