she was so not down for the gang bang
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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