My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
