My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
pray to the hookup gods
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.