just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.