u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Crop dusting thru forever 21
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
