Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
