either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
