I think I am morally bankrupt
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
