My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
