I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
