Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
