hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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